The Retarded won best film? Seriously? I watched that movie over the weekend and couldn't figure out why they didn't just call it "The Stupid Movie With The Thinly Veiled Plot And Lots Of People Being Shot In The Head At The End" but hell, I'm no film maker. I sit around feeding my addiction to pandora.com and apply to Ivy League lesbian schools.

I thought Ellen DeGeneres was pretty funny, so I was entertained. And feeling pretty good until Melissa Etheridge won the award for best song. Her partner, sorry, WIFE, Tammy is someone I know from my hay-day in New York. There she is, all dressed up and rubbing elbows with the Hollywood elite and enjoying all that Vagina Music money and I watch the show on my couch with my dog who is wearing a turtleneck sweater.

xo,
Swan

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