So, the date was okay, but JUST okay. I find her attractive yet incredibly booooo-ring so I don't think I'll be calling her anytime soon. She didn't get half of my jokes and you guys, I was totally ON the whole night. We had a drink after dinner and she got some fucked up drink that smelled like black licorice. Why don't you make it easier on both of us and drink a glass of bleach. But the night was fun because my friend Jill met us at the bar and we had a great time after The Date went home. We decided that Main Street in Montpelier was still looking too Christmasy, so we ran up & down Main Street unplugging all of the Christmas lights that were wrapped around the telephone poles. I only got shocked twice, one time it landed me in a snow bank about 5 feet from where I was standing. My response to being shocked was, "HEY JILL! DID YOU SEE ME FLY?"

We went back to her apartment for the usual antics and then after about 7 pounds of bacon and the Sunday Times at River Run the following morning, we went to Bed, Bath and Beyond. I call her a gay man and she calls me a frat boy, so of course as she was picking out the most stream-lined vacuum available, I was cracking up over a talking Simpsons wall clock.

And if Jennifer Aniston happens to be reading this entry, get your pretty little self up to Vermont and mama will make you feel all better. There, there, hot lady. Take your pants off and just cry, cry, cry.

xo,
Swan

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