Happy holidays, you big freaks. My office closes down from Dec 24 to Jan 4, so perhaps that's enough time for me to get my act together and update. For now, I can tell you that I had a great Christmas & because, like I've said before, there is no God and Mary is a lying little whore, I'm down with viral meningitis. Nice, huh? Apparently the ear infection I ignored for three weeks manifested itself in another capacity and now I'm parading around with a SWOLLEN BRAIN AND SPINAL CORD. Sexy. I feel okay now that my temperature has gone below 103, but for those of you who are wondering, and I was, a lumbar puncture is no fun at all. None. I narrowly escaped spending Christmas in the hospital; my fever broke after a few hours and they let me go home, making me promise that I'd get lots of bed rest, drink fluids and not do anything for a week. I've been adhering to all of the doctor's rules and feel pretty good but I get tired very easily, what with the swollen organs and all. Can't I just get the flu like a normal mother fucker?

I've made a pact with myself to update on a regular basis in the new year.
There's so much to catch you guys up on that I don't even know where to start, so I won't bore you with every little detail right now. Just know that I'm happy, sane and content.

Me and my enlarged brain need to go lie down now. Napoleon Dynamite is ready to go in the dvd player. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.

xo,
Swaningitis

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