It's SPRING, Emmer Effers. SPRING!! I'm so happy I could pee but I'll try to control myself and my bladder. I mean, who wants piss pants, ya know?

I had a pretty decent weekend with the exception of the Yankees sucking out loud. I'm so close to trading in my Yankee hat for a Cubs cap it's not even funny. They played a 4 game series against Boston and here in Red Sox Country, it's getting harder to wear my hat with any sort of pride. Maybe the Yankees really DO suck. But let's face facts - Boston swallows.

I watched Friday's game at the local bar in Montpelier with my sister. Before we knew it, everyone was showing up and the bar was split down the middle, Yankee fans on one side and mongoloid Boston fans on the other. It's still early in the season, so everyone was buying everyone drinks and being all friendly and there were no fist fights, unfortunately.

It's getting ready to rain like a bitch so my dog and cat are running around like idiots, all jacked up and ready to rumble. It always kind of freaks me out when they're like this because for some reason, I always assume that they're all hyper because they've both spotted a rapist in my house and they're trying to let me know. Like my dog is all Lassie or whatever. "What's that girl? I'm going to get raped & killed and left for dead when I go upstairs later? Okay, I'll create a diversion and you go run for help!" Or something like that.

I found out today that dish tv will be available in my neighborhood beginning May 1. I admit it, I miss TV and only have the luxury of watching it at my sister's house. I have a dvd player & I subscribe to netflix, but it's just not the same. Something tells me that after I get the dish installed, I'm going to waste an entire weekend watching MSNBC and licking the television screen. It's so not beyond me.

There are a lot of female mechanics up here. Go fucking figure, huh? Whenever my sister and I see a chick mechanic, we always say "Check under your hood, ma'am?" in a really dykey voice and crack up because clitoris jokes are always funny.

I have to take some time to catch up on everyone's diaries and I wish that's something I could do at work. They have this whore of a firewall and to give you an example of how strict they are, I can't even go to mtv.com. What the eff? Nazi bastards. I bet even Anne Frank was able to access the site from HER job.

xo,

Swan

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